"I didn't mean to rip your arm off."

Today, I was in Borders and I was purchasing my new 2011 planner (WOOT I love planners....honestly....) and there were 4 cashiers. Three boys and one girl. I literally stood there in line thinking, "please let me get the girl...please let me get the girl...." You see people, the Borders by where I work has the MOST ATTRACTIVE male clerks. It's a little bit overwhelming in all the right ways. Whenever they help me purchase things I do the dumbest things. For example, in the past I've dropped all my money on the ground while trying to pay, I've forgotten my name and phone number, and I always blush like crazy. HELLO. These boys are wonderful. Anyways, I didn't feel like being embarrassing today, so I wished for the girl. Did I get her? No. Of course not. I got the most attractive boy....which is wonderful, don't get me wrong....but HE HAD AN ENGLISH ACCENT. Needless to say, I basically died inside. You know, I died in that girly way where the boy who fits your "man list" is standing right in front of you and there's absolutely nothing you can do but embarrass yourself....So what happened to me this time? Well, he asked for my Borders Rewards card and I have it on my keychain, which is attached to a lanyard, which was attachhed to my wrist. I handed him the rewards card, and he pulled it over the counter, which pulled my lanyard, which pulled my whole arm. It was terrible because it hurt and I didn't see it coming...so I made this obnoxious American noise due to the unexpected pain. He laughed at me. Did you read that? He LAUGHED at me. Which made him even more adorable. Which made me blush even more....and he said (in his adorable little accent) "I didn't mean to rip your arm off."


I took that as, "Amy, will you marry me? I love you."


The wedding will be held in a matter of months, check your snail mail soon for invitations. :)

Clay Aiken makes me cry.

Wow. Christmas is here already. Well in a matter of hours... ;)


What can I say?


Happy birthday, Jesus. :)
I am going to do my best to love all with all that I am this upcoming year.
I am thankful that I have somewhere to go for Christmas and loving people to share it with.
I am so thankful for my mother, my father, my sister and everyone else who holds a special place in my heart.


Today I got a text from one of my friends...I just gave them their gift and their text was so welcomed and humbling. It wasn't the fact that we got each other presents...it was the fact that when we gave the gifts it was a  gesture of affection, of thoughtfulness and most of all, friendship.


I think I may be the only 18 year old girl who cries when Clay Aiken's Christmas album is played. Honestly...it just hits home. His voice combined with songs about Christmas and loving people no matter what.....just gets to me.


Therefore, I'm also thankful for Clay Aiken.


Merry Christmas.


Someday, when I grow up....I'm going to do something special on Christmas for people who have nowhere to go and no one to celebrate it with. It breaks my heart to know that people are alone on this wonderful day. Love. Love. Love. That is the answer.

Growing up.

I think we should all try to accept the fact that it's time to do it: grow up, that is. 
My best friends don't understand that when they are upset or unsettled or not okay....I am too. I care about what they do, I care about how they feel and that's just the way it is. Regardless of whether it is me or someone else making them feel that way...I care about how they feel. 


Now, my decisions are my decisions. I will make them. I am 18 and I appreciate your opinion BUT I would appreciate it if my decisions were not ridiculed and taken personally. Honestly people....let's calm down here. We're all grown up...let's love each other regardless. 
THAT is the key, I think. 
LOVE.
I can love you, as my friend, without loving all of your decisions. But do I have the authority to tell you what I think of EACH AND EVERY one of your decisions? No. I don't. So I won't. Because you are also 18, maybe 19. And you are perfectly capable of making your own decisions. If you ask for my opinion, I'll gladly give it to you. I expect the same from you. 


But let's just love each other and share that. Let's not be shy about letting our friends know we appreciate them. 


I know people aren't happy right now. But it's not my fault and it's most certainly not my job to make you feel better....although I feel like it is. Sometimes, I feel like the glue of my group...the only one who tries to hold it all together. And I don't mean the group. I know the group dynamic has changed. I mean, I'm the only one who asks to hang out, I'm the only one who texts and calls and makes plans...I'd be nice to feel like my friends are happy I'm home. 


I don't know. I'm just really considering not coming home next semester. And if I do...I won't tell my friends. Just my family. Is it bad to want to feel appreciated? No. I don't think so. 


But you know what, I will always love. Always. Regardless of how you treat me....I'll love you. I'll call you. I'll text you when you need someone to talk to. I'll drive to your house at 2 am if you need a hug. Always. So please, don't hesitate to let me know. :)


Love is the answer people. 
LOVE.
So do it. 


And to my friends who read this: I miss you. I love you. Let's embrace things as they come and grow up together. I'm a people person, I need you. I give you my word, I won't let you down; so please try and return the favor. 


p.s. I also apologize to those of you reading this post who think it's a cry for attention or a sobby pity party. It's not. It's a flipping blog post. Get over it. :)


Okay, thanks.
Back to the love.  <3

Change: a verb, a noun, and a huge part of life.

I feel like I've FINALLY got the swing of this college thing....
I'm more connected to people here, I'm less attached to things at home, I'm an avid Grove shopper and UC eater, I have a 12 hour a week job, I am on top of all of my work....and now, I have to leave.
My life is planned out by the hour. I honestly have a chart that is scheduled by the hour. And every hour is filled with something! My life is always on the go, I'm always moving and there's always something to be preparing for.
And in 4 days, it all comes to a crashing halt for 4 weeks.
Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled to go home!
But for 4 weeks.....?
What on Earth will I do?
I am beginning to LOVE my school, to LOVE my college experience and now it has to be put on pause for 4 weeks?


Meh. 
On top of that, I have to pack EVERYTHING up and take it home.
EVERYTHING.
I  mean....my side of the room has to be completely EMPTY.
This means fridge, microwave, body mirror, all my clothes, my food, my belongings, my bedding, my fish....it all must be packed and taken home.
But all for good reason!!!


Next semester=new roommate and new room! I am THRILLED.
My new roommate is going to be SO much fun (I already know her :] ) and our room is going to ADORABLE.
So I guess there's a bright side to leaving for such a long time.
When I come back, college life should get EVEN BETTER.


I can't wait!
In the mean time, it's time to have a wonderful holiday season. :)